TNDG day 13

[exequte]

[She'd gone back to her dressing room, cast her vote, then left her tablet behind and gone wandering through the halls looking for Junpei, checking into the various sets and rooms. It was late, but that couldn't be helped, she needed him soon. Everything was cracking into pieces, and she was left cold and numb, and looks wan, half a ghost already.]

Junpei?

Comments

[unexpectedboner]

I...

[He knows what she's done; maybe not all of it, but enough. And they aren't all things he can condone. A lot of them he can't agree with. Even more, he knows just aren't right.

...And even so. He reaches for her hand.]

...Yeah. Yeah, it's true. I-- I thought, maybe after all this is over, we could maybe...start over? Without all the...craziness.

[one way to talk about murder schemes]

[exequte]

I'd... I'd like that a lot. I'd like to be able to be with you, and... and just have it be us, and not have to worry about any of this. At least... at least I'd like that if you still want to after everything else.

Jumpy, will you promise not to tell anyone anything I tell you?

[unexpectedboner]

Of course. I can keep a secret. ...I don't really have anyone else to tell at this point.

[exequte]

I... I guess we're the same that way too, then.

Kyrie was going to kill me. Santa being stabbed... that was my fault, and she was going to kill me by not voting for me after she said she would for doing that.

[unexpectedboner]

[frowns, expression hard]

...You weren't the one who did it. She knows that. And even so--?

[exequte]

I know I wasn't, I don't know who did. That doesn't matter, I guess.

I didn't hear any of this, all I know is what Santa told me, but he was sure.

[unexpectedboner]

What did he say after that? He told me that he'd found you a vote.

[exequte]

I was the one who got the hotel pass after Mari and Dennis and Mac died. He asked me to vote for Kyrie, because otherwise she'd die. And he told me that he'd found someone else who would vote for me.

[unexpectedboner]

And you trust him?

[exequte]

I... I don't know. I think I trust him this much. I know he doesn't want me to die. I think I know, at least, but if I don't know that much then I don't know anything at all.

But that's part of why I'm telling you all of this. I want someone to know, if I do die tomorrow.

[unexpectedboner]

[he looks down at his broken fingers]

I don't trust him, but I don't think he wants you to die either. Even if-- No, I don't think he wants you to die. I don't want you to die, either.

[he pulls her into a hug, because look, it's been a long fucking day]

...You know, you could always get out of all this, you know. You've got a hotel pass. You could take it and be done with it.

[exequte]

[she hugs him back because YES IT REALLY HAS BEEN IT SURE HAS BEEN YUP]

No I couldn't. If I go to the hotel...

Jumpy, in the future you're in, I survived, but in the future I'm in, I didn't. I died. No, I died nine years ago, and everything about the me I am today never even existed. If you go to the hotel then you go back home eventually and things are the way you left them, and if that happens I'll die again. No, I'll never have existed. I won't even be a memory, because I never would have existed in the first place.

[unexpectedboner]

But--you're not dead. You're here, I can feel you and smell you and-- Look, that can't just stop happening!

[...right???]

--It can't, I won't let it!

[exequte]

I don't know why I'm here either, I don't know what happened, but if I go home.... Back home, I died 9 years ago.

Jumpy, have you ever heard of Schrödinger's cat?

[unexpectedboner]

...That's the one with the box, right?

[exequte]

Yes. It's a thought problem that was first presented by Erwin Schrödinger - or, originally, it was a criticism of a theory of how quantum mechanics were seen. Here it is: first you need to put a cat in a steel box with a small piece of radioactive material, and a geiger counter that's attached to a hammer, and a flask of poison gas. Every minute, or hour, there's an 【equal chance】 that atoms from the radioactive material will decay and trigger the geiger counter, or that they won't, so there's no way to determine with probability which is the likelier option - they're both equally likely. If the geiger counter is triggered then the hammer will break the vial of poison gas, if it is not then it won't, and so whether the cat is alive or dead depends on if the atoms have decayed or not.

Let's say that every minute there's a 50/50 chance that the cat will survive or die. Then let's say you wait an hour. Jumpy, do you know if the cat is alive or dead?

[unexpectedboner]

I can't imagine it'd be alive after an hour in a radioactive box! Are there holes in the box? It's gotta be so stuffy in there...

[exequte]

The radioactive material is a very small amount, and it might not have released any radiation. But, for the sake of the experiment, let's say this is a magical cat, and the poison gas is the only thing that can kill it.

There's no holes. There's no way to see anything about what's happening inside - whether the vial is broken, or the vial is still whole.

[unexpectedboner]

I just don't think this's a good experiment. How do I know what's happened to the cat if I can't see in the box?

[exequte]

But that's just the point. We know there's a cat in the box, and we know that it must be either alive or dead. There's only two options, and it has to be one of them. The possibilities, though, are equally likely, so what does that make the cat?

[unexpectedboner]

...How do you know it has to be one? Maybe it can be both. Or something else altogether. You can't know for sure, so you can't say what it's got to be, right?

[exequte]

That's exactly what it is. The cat is either alive or dead, but neither option is more likely. But, when you open the box after the hour and look inside, it can't be both. It can only be one - either you'll see that the cat is dead, or you'll see that the cat is alive. In that instant, by observing the scene, you force reality to choose one option.

Before you open the box, the cat is both alive and dead at the same time. After you open it and observe, those possibilities collapse into one reality.

I'm the cat, Jumpy. And this time, when you opened the box, I was dead.

[unexpectedboner]

.........

[unexpectedboner]

.........

.........

...........................If after this you can't go home, then don't. Come home with me. Or not "home," it doesn't matter. It'll be alright. I'll make sure of it.

[exequte]

[What can she do for that but hug him? So she does, again.]

Thank you, Jumpy... Thank you so much, but... I don't think I can. Not this time.

[unexpectedboner]

[Grips her tightly, as if she could disappear at any minute. He may, in fact, be choking up a bit. Today has just been so much.]

You can, okay? Just trust me, I-I'll make it happen. I promise.

[exequte]

I... I don't know if you can, this time. But thank you so much. Thank you for caring. For trying for me.