15strangers week 1 wednesday

[exequte]

CW: Extreme 999 Spoilers

[Stabbing herself, or the doll of herself, like she had had been exquisitely painful. But at least, right now, her fevers had subsided slightly, and she felt that she was settling into her role, so when her brother asked if he could take her to rest she had acquiesced. She had made her statement already, which in a way was the important part.

She lets him carry her again, half for appearances sake, half because she truly had taxed herself, but when he set her down on her bed she had only looked up at him and waited, still looking as fragile and vulnerable as a bird with a broken wing.

She had to be, here. She didn't have the luxury of being anything else.]

Comments

[jinglebros]

[ He sets her down on the bed, as he has done before. Sitting down next to her, his eyes are bright. A total contrast to how they were in public. ]

You were really thinking things through out there, huh?

[exequte]

[She gives him a tiny little smile for that response.]

You're not going to yell at me?

[jinglebros]

No way. You're making sure you won't get caught if you have to kill.

I've been trying to do the same thing, by playing up our relationship. If people see I'm a doting brother, they'll think kindly of me.

[exequte]

[She sighs, and for a moment looks distant, and a little regretful.]

I'd really rather if I didn't have to.

[Then she looks back at him, and her expression is as set as stone.]

But if I do, I don't intend to be caught or convinced. No matter what that takes. I don't want to die here.

[She twines their hands together, humming thoughtfully.]

You're right, but... but it also could be thought of as a motive. If it seemed like maybe someone tried to hurt me....

I think maybe you should be more overconfident, though. If you always act like you can do anything easily and then fail when you try people will start to think less of you. If you act stupid, they won't think of you as smart, and so when you need to be smart....

[jinglebros]

So intentionally fail. Got it.

[ A long pause, as he squeezes her hand and considers. ]





Do I have to do that around Hubert?

[ oh boy. ]

[exequte]

[It is now she who is giving him the mildly judgemental, disapproving look.]

Do you really like him that much?

[A SIGH]

It doesn't have to be that, but.... I'm.... I'm not sure being a doting brother will be enough, if....

If you do have to do something.

[She puts her hands in her lap and looks down at them, fingers twisting together.]

I can't access the Morphogenetic Field here. Or, if I can, it's not the same. I... I can't help you that way, this time.

[jinglebros]

I just won't do it around him. I generally speak to him alone, so it's not like anyone will catch me.

[ He sighs at her disapproving look. ]

I know. It's confusing. I just feel safe around him? I can't understand it.

[exequte]

[She shakes her head, just a little.]

It's all right. And I want you to be happy. But.... Be careful? Please? This is....

[She looks up at him, finally, and her eyes are bright as stars with worry. A moment later she makes a slight sound of distress and puts a hand to her forehead. She feels hot, again.]

I hate this. I hate it so much. I hate this so, so much.

[The words are soft, more of a mantra than conversation, but he's used to that too.]

I'm sorry. I....

[She covers her eyes for a moment.]

I know... I know that we're supposed to be able to stop this but.... Aoi, I don't remember. I...

[Feeling dizzy, and weak, and still hurting, she makes a little sound of frustrated despair and falls back onto her bed.]

[jinglebros]

Wanna hear something that might make you feel better?

[ He tucks his arm around her, pulling her against his shoulder. With his free hand, he pulls the blanket up. ]

[exequte]

[She reaches out silently and takes hold of the hem of his jacket, looking up at him and smiling, just a little.]

Yes.

[jinglebros]

I've got this huge space in my memories gone. I remember seeing you with your - [ Pause, look away. No, he can't tell her - then it might not happen. ] - and I was happy, and then nothing, and then here. Enough time had passed that when I looked in the mirror, my hair had grown. A lot.

But nothing.

[exequte]

[There's a long silent pause as she thinks about that, her hand holding tight to the edge of his jacket just like she had when she was small--a jacket, or a sleeve, or the hem of a shirt until she finally squeezes her eyes shut.]

Aoi, what were we doing before the second Nonary game?

[jinglebros]

...is that something you've forgotten?

[ Maybe. Maybe that's a plus? Maybe he should hide it from her. ]

We were trying to live.

[exequte]

[That's.... that's the answer that agrees with what she remembers. It just feels wrong, and it's awful, it's like....

It doesn't make sense. None of it does. She bites her lip and tries not to worry about how little she knows, tries to shove her thoughts down from the whirl they are spinning in.]

[jinglebros]

[ And he can tell it went badly. ]

...

[ He sighs. ]

And there's something else, but I'm not sure how you'd handle it.

[exequte]

[She looks back up at him, and there's a little spark of something like desperation in her eyes, a sad little yearning because there's nothing that makes sense anymore.]

I... I trust you, but....

Aoi, I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

[And that is terrifying, just as saying it out loud is terrifying, because how is she supposed to survive if she doesn't know how? And if she dies, everything else will too soon enough, she has Seen that enough to know it.]

[jinglebros]

You're supposed to survive. Just like always.

[ He exhales, running his hand through his hair. ]

What you're forgetting is that in the last game, Zero was us.

[exequte]

[She makes a mostly breathless little sound that's partway between laughing and sobbing.]

I don't know how. That's the problem.

[One of the problems.

But then he says what he does and she freezes for a moment, then starts trembling. A part of her wants to reject the knowledge, but here she is, readying the field for if she needs to kill.

Again. Kill again.

She lets out a soft sound, "oh", very quietly and then turns her face so she won't cry. Tries not to. She doesn't want to cry when he told her what she needed. It would only hurt him.

She still doesn't remember the actual plan, of course, which makes it harder. Surely, though, there was one. Because if not then the lives of everyone hung in the balance and....

It's irrelevant right now anyway.

But-

Wait.]













Zero knows.

[jinglebros]

Zero knows.

[ He can tell it didn't go over well with her, but he's decided that it's better this way. That she deserves the whole truth. Besides, if she remembered it herself, how would she handle the fact he lied?

It wasn't great, what he'd tried to do. ]

[exequte]

He talked to me. He asked me if I wasn't forgetting the role I'd played in the last Nonary game.

[jinglebros]

And... you were.

He was taunting you.

[exequte]

[She gives him a wounded glare.]

I know that. I knew then. I just thought that... that he was talking about... how I'm dead.

[jinglebros]

I'm sure he was talking about that, too.

[exequte]

[She shakes her head a little, just once, though she still looks at him a little curiously. She had been expecting his usual protests.]

I don't think so. I think it was this.

But that doesn't matter right now, what matters is that means that Zero knew more about me than I knew about myself.

[jinglebros]

Sometimes he slips up, especially now that he has to balance knowing her as he does in her own future.

"So you want me to tell you more? In case he knows it?"

[exequte]

[She sighs, feeling... tired.]

It probably doesn't make very much difference. And I guess there's more important things to worry about, right?